Humour

I'm usually not the person at the party with the best jokes and the sharpest wit, but yesterday in the car on the way to the links I finally made a good(?) joke. Made my dad laugh, so it passed the first test of wit, although his humour can be questionable at times.

While being angry about the Mainland dude at CUHK law that never, ever, ever raises his hand in class but opts to rudely yell out the answer, I questioned whether the dude thinks he's John McCain.

Well, maybe questionable humour runs in the family.

Richard Li

Everyone knows who Richard Li is right? Yeaaaaahhh . Well, this is the cheapo who puts these shiny red labes saying "Compliments of Richard Li" onto every single one of the free copies of Financial Times that are given out at our Law School.

When I told my father about this, he said "you should make a rubber stamp of the text on the label, and stamp all of the toilet paper in the bathrooms exactly like that, so that when people reach to clean the poo of their anus..."

I would love to be a part of this prank. Any takers?

Suckers Up

I've always loved this very famous Gloria Steinem quote:

"The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn."

which became rather relevant during out legal writing and literacy class today. The prof was teaching us how NOT to write and draft like a lawyer, and how to use plain English. Somebody brought up the point that, there are lawyers who write and draft like lawyers!! That is, in a convoluted and sometimes antiquated fashion! Why are you telling us that what we did is wrong when that is exactly what our bosses have taught us to do?

Obviously, the better lawyer you are, the less likely you would need to use language like that.

But UGH! This horrible guy in our class decided that this was the moment to suck up like a vacuum cleaner to the prof and say "oh, when I was a journalist I saw a lot of bad writing too! And we don't need anymore of that. " Ok, so he said a little more than that, but the tone he used was so obnoxious, so condescending, that I feel as if it's something only a guy could ever get away with.

Conclusion: Hell is other people.

My mind is in the gutter ALL THE TIME.

Just a few thoughts on what I think my law school is... 

Our email system is called CWEM. Hur hur hur!!! It stands for Campus Wide E Mail, but by god, they need to put somebody in the IT department that knows dirty words. (errr qwim anyone? Or quim?)

Our head of faculty is known as the Koala Bear. He is a Koala bear that needs a bib. Awww can you imagine how cute that is? A koala bear in a bib! Not, however, if you're sitting in the front row of the classroom. I feel as if I oughta go to class wearing a fencing mask, so mighty is his froth. You know what I mean. You've had a prof exactly like this one. Large. Grey. Spits.

I have no friends in school yet. Boooo. Feels exactly like gradeschool all over again. Except, no playground. And no coathooks with out names and photos above. 

CUHK Chinese Language Center : A Review

Am I actually a 'banana'? I wish I were, because it would make my identity a lot easier to market. The word has assonance, the concept is graphic... if I could get an angle on my lack of Chinese language skills, make it seem like I'm this yummy fruit that everyone would love to hire as a scriptwriter for an already successful TV show like - well, nothing comes to mind actually. Hong Kong TV sucks satan's sweaty scrotum.

Speaking of sucking, I really must suck on some more about the Language program I'm enrolled in right now. GIVEN that Chinese is a difficult language to teach - how do you make memorizing 3000 characters really Fun and Full of Fudgy Flavour and Rainbow Sprinkles??? ( or Hundreds and Thousands, if you're from across the pond) - I'm still irritated by the incompetance and general shabby attitude of the school which is supposed to have a prehistoric legacy in experience teaching Chinese.

Suck No. 1. I Did Not Get my Teaching Materials Until A Quarter of the Way though the Course.
When I signed up they assured that I could get traditional character teaching materials and that did not happen until way late. I had to continuously chase them up for the absolute basic things. Then it was suggested to me that , well, you know, simplified is a good option too! Why don't you change your mind and then we wouldn't have to do all this reformating and photocopying! ie. *you're an annoying customer, and we'd rather you CONFORM DAMMIT*

Suck No. 2. The teaching materials are designed ONLY to make you learn vocabulary. Some of the passages we read are so laden with four-word sayings that I could probably rap the thing out as for my oral exam (which is essentially a spewing out of a word-for-word recitation of the text. I have a vision of myself bringing a boombox into the exam room). It just doesn't seem like something you would normally read! Why don't I just make myself a bunch of vocab flash cards and save myself the money? (15 credits equals about 23,000 hkd. Do da math)

Suck No. 3. The campus is in the middle of nowhere. If you're an advanced learner, you have to travel all the way to Shatin for class. The commute is a bore.

Suck No. 4. The chairs are too small. My classmate, who is 6'3'' American with Swiss heritage, cannot possibly fit his booty into that chair and feel comfortable for the three hour class. They're an institute for foreign learners?! They should expect students of foreign sizes and adjust the seating accordingly so they don't get that 14-hour flight feeling?????

End rant.