Chivalry for Women

A couple of weeks ago Dan Savage's column mentioned that All Men Do It. In my vision of a perfect world where men and women are true equals, women who started bawling and/or raving about discovering her boyfriend's porn stash behind the crapper would be denigrated and labelled Too Stupid To Live by older, wiser women. (This is not to say that your dear author is old, or wise - just opinionated.) As feminists, it's about time we got over the "Porn is Bad for Women" mentality that most likely springs from the insecurity about our bodies that, past teenage years, ougt to slowly fade away just like pizza face (Sorry, people who have post-adolescent cystic acne.) If women expect men to understand and tolerate the quirks of female biology, the least we can do is return the favor.

PMS for example: if we require men to cease patronizing us about it every time we get into a little snit about something, we need to step forward and accept that men can't help loving visual stimulation. Why make your honey ashamed of something that gives him so much pleasure? I believe a fig leaf can be taken from the books of swingers and polyamorists in this regard: the majority of women whose partners enjoy porn should learn to feel compersion.



Respect is a variable and personal concept, and lest I step into any pats of poo down that path, I won't go down there attempting to define it. (Wikipedia can weather the poo on my behalf.) But I do stand by respecting male biology if the vice versa were also true. If my honey doesn't think less of me when I grumble and bitch before and during my period, then I can't think less of him when I catch him hunched over a copy of Double Stuffed. I think chivalry exists for women too, and this is one way I think that women can be chivalrous. Not making guys pay for all the dates is chivalrous as well, IMO, but that's whole 'nother kettle of cold-blooded aquatic vertebrates.

Is pornography disrespectful? And how is it different from boob oggling in real life? Chivalry for women: does it exist?